Monday, November 24, 2014

Normal Neff Conversations

It is possible to live such an insular home life that your family's methodology evolves into a slightly different thing than what one might find in a typical household. Not that we started out all that typically (as an artist and a yo-yo professional) but with the addition of two children things can border on the ridiculous sometimes. I thought as an experiment, I might relay to my handful of readers some bits of conversation that I've shared with the hubby in the last week or so. I'm hoping some of you can relate. It's just me tapping into regular society, to check in, and to make sure we don't go too far down the rabbit hole.

"Looks like someone left out the ball of twine."
"Huh....Do you happen to know where the end is?"
"Yeah, I think it's through the cat door into the basement and somewhere under the stairs."

"If you change Charlie's diaper later and his poop is kinda glittery, it's because he bit through that glitter-filled water balloon and sucked it all out like a vampire."
"Well that's fun."

"I can't find my other shoe."
"Check in the refrigerator between the milk and the barbeque lighter."

"Where'd he get that sippy cup?"
"No idea."
"How old do you think it is?"
"Hrm. Probably this week? I guess we'll find out here in a minute."

"I got a hole-in-one at disc golf!"
"Great. Good job."
"You don't sound really excited for me."
"No, really. I am. Way to go."
"You're being sarcastic."
"No, I'm not. My life is forever changed. Congratulations."
"I'm never talking to you again."

"Sorry I didn't have time to leave dinner out. What did you guys end up eating?"
"They had jelly toast, some candy, cinnamon toast crunch and chocolate milk."
"Okay. They can have some vitamins for dessert."

"There was only one toothbrush shoved down the sink drain, right?"
"I think so, but I can't find the other one."
"It's in the dishwasher because he was using it to brush the cat."
"Did you get that out using two sticks like chop-sticks?"
"Nice work!"
"I'm a Chinese plumber."

"Alright. I'm serious. You guys have to help me find Long Neck, Waddle-Waddle, Hop-Hop, Blankie, and Big Frog or no one is getting any sleep tonight."

"Oh no. Oh.....That's not chocolate..."

"Do we put this in the bathtub, hose it off outside or just throw it away?"
"Well, let's start the baby out in the bathtub and go from there."