Wednesday, January 14, 2015

"Resolutions" is such a strong word...

You know, everyone seems to make New Year's resolutions, and yet the majority of us don't follow through. I think the problem is that we tend to pick these HUGE goals for ourselves. Goals that require a complete lifestyle change. Why on earth are we so hard on ourselves when we don't try to accomplish these things with coaching, accountability, or commemoration? Seriously, if we had that kind of willpower, we'd all be freaking perfect.
I'm not trying to say goals are bad, or that if one "falls off the wagon" they can't get back on and make progress. I'm just trying to point out that our Ego, Superego and Id are dreadfully at odds this time of year, and our self-worth would be better served with more attainable aspirations. I decided this year to try to be more reasonable with myself so I don't start the year feeling like a failure and setting a bad precedent for the next 11 months. I have for you the list I've started of small goals - things I want to work towards. I hope my year is like the dice game Yatzee. I don't know how I'm going to roll that day, but I'll see what I get and figure out where on this list it could count. (This is just a tentative, and by no means an exhaustive list.)

1. Learn the algorithm to solving a Rubik's Cube.
2. Learn how to can vegetables and make pickles.
3. Learn how to make aromatic candles from home grown herbs.
4. Learn some practical Italian such as: "How many U.S. dollars is another bottle of wine?" and "Can you take me back to the castle I rented on my rented Vespa?"
5. Learn how to play the drums on a plastic 5 gallon bucket like a professional street performer.
6. Practice my juggling.
7. Do some toe-lifts, squats, crunches, and maybe some kegels when I'm on Facebook.
8. Dance to more musicals with my son. Sometimes try some actual dance steps. Maybe.
9. Eat more organic crap.
10. Finish more leftovers. Waste less food. Drink more water. Eat less salt. Blah, blah, blah...
11. Take family bike rides once in a while.
12. Have more picnics.
13. Record my dreams.
14. Volunteer for community service. Lord knows I did something to deserve it, just didn't get caught.
15. Write down the words in books that I don't know and actually look up the definitions.
16. Stop hoarding clothes that are dated or don't fit. Replace the 10 year old socks and underwear.
17. Stop joking about how many points I might get for running over various pedestrians. (Not nice.)
18. Take the baby on an outing at least once a week. Also, invent a portable strap that can keep him in the shopping cart when the strap provided looks like it was chewed off by a rabid animal.
19. Floss more often.
20. Learn how to make more "potions" out of medicinal plants. Convince my kids that I could secretly be "part witch", and that they might have some magic too.