Friday, November 20, 2015

Better Than Death

On my list of "Things To Do" is to make another list of things "Better Than Death". It seems appropriate at this time of year to reflect on things for which we are grateful, and at the risk of being morbid, sometimes gaining perspective can aid our appreciation for those little things in life. If those little things happen to not be so obvious, it's nice to be able to tell yourself, "Well...it could be worse. You could have died in the effort."

This morning I had the privilege of waking up to live another day. I'm blessed to have more than one pair of shoes, and so I threw on some homely but comfortable house-shoes so that all the crumbs from the food we've been blessed to eat wouldn't stick to the bottom of my feet that I'm blessed to have. I've been too blessed with a spirited 2 year-old to vacuum for a week. I'm grateful for having a vacuum and floors to walk on, and a house to live in that needs constant cleaning because we've been blessed with so much crap.

I'm so grateful we live in a country where I can take my children to the dentist every six months. I'm grateful for the dentist's strong arms, speed-of-light observations, and crowbar-like fingers. I'm so thankful that all his digits are still intact, and that they will allow us to continue to visit his practice. I hope he knows how blessed he is to have a staff that can smile and reassure apologetic parents, even while subtly holding their hands over their ears and yelling, "IT'S OKAY! WE DON'T MIND! WE SEE KIDS ALL DAY LONG!"

I'm grateful that my oldest son is such a perfect patient, and was able to engage the nurse in pleasant conversation while I chased my toddler down the hallway and out of other patient rooms. I'm sure she was grateful to discuss his dreams of growing up to be a Shepard and Author so he doesn't need to ever leave his house. I hope his talents regarding "belly rolling" along with examples, will leave her life more fulfilled.

I'm so thankful that they have secured the elementary school where he attends, and that they require children to be checked in and checked out by a parent. I'm thankful the school is on a hill in case of catastrophic flooding, and that I've been blessed with a second child to unload out of a car with suicide doors. I'm thankful to have knees to be smashed to bits by god-blessed gravity acting on one door or the other. I'm grateful for the changing seasons, the $%^* cold wind, and to have a #$%(^$@#$% car to drive even if the god-blessed $%^&*@ pieces keep falling off of it.

I'm feeling really #@$% blessed that everyone was patient when the toddler busted in through the school door after his brother and started screaming when I chased him down and pulled him back out. I'm so thankful that no one seemed to notice, including myself, that I was still wearing my house-shoes until it was all over and I was limping blessed toddler back to the car.

I will have to add "taking toddler to dentist" to my future list of "Things Better than Death". Suggestions welcome. I think this one would go a little below "child birth" and a little above "taking an angry Jack-Russell on a walk to collect a urine sample".