Saturday, October 29, 2016

Thanks for understanding!

Dear people of the world:

I'm writing this letter to formally thank you for your patience and understanding. I will provide some examples of those who's thoughtfulness and incredible tolerance have made life much easier, but this is by no means an exhaustive list.

Most recently, I'd like to thank the very sweet women at Walmart's vision center. Your finding entertainment value and humor in my son licking the mirrors in your store lowered my stress level significantly. I hope that my other child breathing on the mirrors and writing smiling faces in the condensation cheers you while you clean them again. Also, I would like to congratulate you for keeping your vision center clean so that my young child doesn't end up in the hospital from licking something in Walmart. It looked immaculate when we first walked in...

I would like to praise my neighbors for allowing your children to play with mine. Thank you for looking the other way when my 3 year old drops trou and pees in our yard. Thank you for not calling the police when you hear bizarre yellings emitted from our open windows when I try to air out the house. When the light-up Spiderman shoes are drying out from puddle-jumping and they are the only ones he will put on, when I can't help that we don't have any chocolate cake, when I make the executive decision to disallow eating Nutella out of the container with a pair of scissors....thank you for understanding that this is all a work-in-progress.

Thank you to all of the little old men and women at the grocery store who answer to "Gam-ma" and "Papa". It's heartwarming when you take the time to flirt with my children, and when you gently touch my arm while reassuring me that your children "went through that stage, too". There's probably many people who would rather run over a screaming puddle of unmet demands with their shopping cart. I'd also like to congratulate you on your uncanny ability to peg these children as belonging to me when I'm doing my best to pretend they're someone else's. I find that both impressive and slightly irritating.

Thank you to the very sweet family that pulled over behind us to catch the weighted, mylar balloon that flew out of our car window. I'm sorry you assumed that the "Get Well Soon" on the balloon meant it would bring great cheer to a person in the hospital, and that you had performed a heroic deed. As it was, that balloon just happened to be the most appealing to the distinctive tastes of a young balloon connoisseur. It was heroic only to me, a perfectly well person. You may remember me as "that lady that who had managed to buckle Armageddon into a car seat and drive around town like that".

Thank you to our home-church pastor. Perhaps you were indulging me, but I'm glad you seemed to agree that sprinkling a little extra water on this one's head during his baptism wouldn't hurt anything.

Finally, thank you to all recent house-guests. Your comments that "the mess doesn't bother you" while you navigate your way over toys, books, games and laundry is very considerate. "It's not dirty it's just a little cluttered" is quite supportive. I hope to have you all over more often once I'm able to keep it more clean, and perhaps we can enjoy your company in brighter lighting.